Hey Trevor, member that time we read that thing.

Well I bought that book. Mind Over Matters by Michael J Nelson, writer of MST3K, finally arrived this week after 2 months on back order, can you believe it! It was well worth the wait, this short book full of whimsical essays gives me a chuckle every time I read it.




Here is a short excerpt, used without permission

"It starts when they’re young. Very young, like seconds old. They
have those tiny, incredibly adorable half-moon fingernails that are
fifty-eight times sharper than a scalpel. A quick, not-very-wellcoordinated
movement of the baby’s arm (which is all any baby I’ve
ever met has been able to muster) and you’ve got thirteen stitches.
That’s why the AMA recommends you have your baby in a hospital:
so that any fingernail-inflicted wounds can be dressed quickly
before there’s too much blood loss. Yes, sometimes babies will
administer self-inflicted fingernail wounds, but that’s only so there
is verisimilitude for their claim that, “I’m only a baby—I don’t
know what I’m doing.Waa, by the way.”
Women, wear a brand-new pair of hoop earrings around a newborn
and what happens? Does he offer a sincere compliment, tell
you how they set off the color of your eyes, like the majority of men
do? Or does he immediately swing on them like Bart Conner? Or
try to pull them out, putting one hand on the side of your head for
extra leverage? The fact that they can do something like that and
still look you in the eyes is chilling."

So go buy this book just don't wait two months for it.

Also check out rifftrax.com pay a few bucks get a lot of entertainment.